isn’t just for ketchup anymore

Anticipation.

Surely you remember that ketchup commercial, right?  Anticipaaaaaaaation, it’s makin’ me wait.

I love anticipation.  In looking back over the last couple weeks I’ve realized anticipation is my favorite part of doing things.  Consider “things” as having three parts:  Anticipation, Doing, Reflection.  Of all of those, Anticipation is where I get the most fun; Reflection is a good time too, and Doing is okay, but really I could skip it if it weren’t so necessary for the anticipation and reflection parts.

Take for example, my big sexy weekend with the new man.  Now, anything you can call a big sexy weekend is surely going to have a load of fun upfront, what with the planning, the wardrobe selection, the movie star montages that zip through your imagination…  I really do love the Anticipation of it all.  What’s missing from the Anticipation is reality – traffic, bloating, awkward moments, rain.  Thinking about it beforehand is like watching a good romantic comedy:  nothing ever goes wrong, there are no slow moments, no one is ever left without a clever, charming one liner.  Anticipation is safe and gorgeous.

Reflection, too, can be more fun than not – I can choose to remember only the juicy, satisfying parts of something like a big sexy weekend.  The bits that lived up to the Anticipation.  There usually aren’t that many, of course, Anticipation has got some big boots to fill, but I’ll dig out those nuggets and really sit with them.  Reflection is about savoring, really nurturing and sucking every last bit of goodness from the memories.  I hate to miss the Reflection stage, which is why I’m reluctant to schedule things too close together.  Gotta leave plenty of time to soak it all in.

The actual Doing of things, I find, can be a bit of a drag.  This is where the clumsy reality of life comes in.  There’s not always a witty thing to say.  The baklava isn’t sweet and sexy, it’s just sticky and flaky.  A big sexy weekend doesn’t fly by in picture perfect flashes of bliss; even the sex itself has it’s drawn out moments of low energy.  Any good composer would tell you these decrescendos are critical for the overall flow of the piece (and how about the term diminuendo, which practically screams sex?).  To their credit, the seemingly lame bits can take on a new, rich life in the Reflection stage, but in the actual Doing they’re awkward and fraught with unspoken anxiety and assumed subtext.   Yup, the Doing can be a let down -  especially after all the Anticipation, which is simply another word for expectation, and we all know expectations are just resentments waiting to happen. 

If I could figure out a way to have the Anticipation and Reflection without the Doing I’d be set.  I’m always a star in the before and after, it’s in the middle I reveal myself to be utterly and completely human.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely hooked on the whole process, as evidenced by my personal commitment to get another big sexy weekend on the calendar ASAP.

Tags: anticipation, dating, disappointment, doing, dream, expectation, reflection, savoring, stress, tease, thrill