It’s been about a week, and my throat still hurts. But only when I swallow. I mentioned this to my Mom at the beginning of the week, and yesterday she called to check on me and see if I’d called the doctor yet. Initially she didn’t know what it was (I count on her to know everything since she’s a nurse), but yesterday she suggested it might be my thyroid. Please know that I think it being my thyroid would be just about the worst thing possible. For someone who has struggled with mood swings and tends toward depression, the worst thing would be to have a faulty thyroid. Then again, if it is broken and it can be fixed, maybe I won’t have the mood swings anymore, so maybe it would be the best thing.
What’s most likely is that it will stop hurting by my appointment on Monday. That’s the way it always goes. I actually suspect it’s metaphysical – traditionally my throat is where I hold my anger and fear. Generally when I have a sore throat I try to sit myself down in a quiet place, and ask myself kindly: “What’s going unsaid, dear heart?” and then cry a bit while I admit to myself I’m scared about xyz. So, consider the facts. This lump in my throat started Tuesday night. Tuesday afternoon is when I had the meeting with my lawyer and got the bad news low down on my right to – or lack thereof – equity in the house. I really haven’t had a good sit down and cry since then. So, if my choices are getting clean with the emotions or having thyroid cancer (and yes, I see those as my only two choices), I guess I’d like to take some time and get honest with myself about how angry I am about this whole cluster.
I just checked out Louise Hay’s take on thyroid: “Humiliation: I never get to do what I want to do. When is it going to be my turn?”. My therapist is going to LOVE this.
